I Don't Need a Job

Being more personal than your average poker site, I am going to give you an insight into how I moved from being a dissatisfied pawn in the rat race to a successful online poker player. I think that many of you will identify with the frustrations I used to endure; it is my hope that through inspiration and guidance from me, that you too can jump off the miserable weekly roundabout that is the 9-5 working life!

Being a fairly intelligent young chap I went to university. Having had jobs during high school and also university, I was no stranger to the idea of working your balls off in a humdrum job for a paltry wage. However, back then I had the naive hope, nay expectation, that upon graduation I would walk into a well-paying, satisfying job, complete with a plush company car and a rather busty yet elegantly shaped secretary. I mean, I had spent 5 years eating cheap instant noodles and pasta, wearing torn old clothes, whilst listening to pompous academics drone on about the theory of Tau and MANOVAs – surely this hallowed degree certificate at the end of it all was worth it, wasn’t it? Well as you can probably guess, my post university days were to prove me wrong…..

I gazed excitedly at the graduate jobs listing on the webpage like a fat man taking in the delights of an all you can eat buffet. “£30k plus benefits” – sounds good as I click apply. I applied for all the tastiest looking morsels as I smugly grinned; I was going to be rich and successful in no time! Slowly but surely, weeks went by and I hadn’t received any feedback for the job applications. “Hmm, maybe their email servers are down”, I mused. In reality though, I had just received the first few of many covert rejections – the ones where they don’t even tell you that you aren’t good enough to be considered for their precious job. Being the hardy son of a gun I am though, I didn’t give up, albeit I lowered my standards. Finally, after months of being told “although your CV (résumé for my American friends) is very impressive we have had an exceptionally high volume of very well qualified applicants, and won’t be inviting you to an interview on this occasion. However, please don’t allow this to deter you from future applications.”( i.e. read: “your CV is pish and we aren’t even going to offer you an interview. Please don’t contact us again.”), I was finally offered an interview and landed a job as a sales person for an IT company. Not my dream job by any stretch of the imagination, however a good start to my graduate career. Or at least I thought it would be…..

Ring a ding a fu**ing ling! The persistent grating of my alarm clock welcomed me to yet another early morning rise in the name of being a 9 – 5 (:30) wage slave. I hated my job, plain and simple. I’d spend the day making lackey phone calls on behalf of the account managers, in a small office that was dominated by the pungent smell of halitosis from the office manager’s grubby mouth. This fellow, being rather diminutive in stature, most definitely had a “small man’s complex”, and tried his best to be the biggest pri*k possible to everyone. Unfortunately, I not only had this evil troll of a manager in my office, but another manager at the other end of the country I had to travel to see periodically. This female manager had somewhat of a pig appearance, and although not as overtly nasty as my office manager, annoyed me just as much with her frequent requests to get up at 4:30 am to board a 6:30 am flight in order to “be with the team” for a day. I did not consider myself part of a team at all; rather, I just had some fellow inmates, incarcerated in the same soul-destroying job. I needed out, and online poker would prove to be the file I needed to cut through the bars on my prison cell’s window.

Having had moderate success sports trading on Betfair, I decided one evening when I came home dejected from work to try out their poker. Having never played before, it was safe to say I was a total noob fish. However, after consulting a few introductory poker websites whilst I played, I soon got the hang of it and learned from my opening mistakes with startling revelations: “What do you mean I lost – I had a pair! Oh I see, his kicker was bigger….hmm…. that’s a bit gay….oh well, I guess I will remember that next time.” I played some more over the next few days and before long I began to make a steady small profit. Some of the poor plays I would see the fish make made me almost fall of my seat in hysterics. However, such glimpses of donkey moves contributed to the growing realisation that maybe, just maybe this online poker gig could be my ticket out of 9-5 slavery. This realisation gave me a voracious appetite to study and practice the game. I joined other poker sites, taking advantage of their bonus offers and generous shoals of fish. I progressed up stakes and found that there were almost as many donkeys as there had been at the level below. My profits continued to grow until one day I woke up for work and a crystal clear thought was embedded in my mind……. “I don’t need a job!”

And that was it – I went to my work and told Miss Piggy I didn’t want to be a part of her gay team, and I suggested to the office gremlin that he get himself a few bottles of mouthwash. I walked out of my former jail, bottles of hot sauce in hand (hey, I needed something to spice up my drab working day!) and took a deep breath of the glowing summer morning’s fresh air. Things would be different now; no more early morning train wrecks. No more overbearing bosses and mind numbing, soul destroying work. I would be my own boss and my hunting grounds would be the online poker sites. This was the beginning of the rest of my life…..

2 years on I am a successful professional online poker player. I made this website to share my passion with you, and hope that perhaps I can inspire you to raise the same middle finger I did to the 9-5 working life. Failing that, I hope you enjoy my blog and try out some of my recommended poker sites. Who knows; you might make a little money you can use to spend on luxuries, or you may even become a deft fisherman and live to see the day where you can enthusiastically shout, “I don’t need a job!”